I cannot gain enough || 2009.08.09

20090809
i cannot gain enough

You can't be satisfied with where you are - God deserves way more than that. Just like athletes who continue to train will always break a record, always surpass the mark that was highest, God draws us so we must press in. Eternally we were made to be more than this. If the relationship we know with God has reached the maximum apex of human experience, remember you were created for more. The bible tells of dreams, of visions, of visitations by angels, even of men who have seen God with their own eyes, all recognizably within the scope of human experience; but the Bible also tells of more. It records a one man who walked with God and was not. What human experience is this? To go with, to know and not to be? This is beyond limitation, outside of human experience. It is the abandonment of reason, exchanged for the grasp of purpose: the embrace of unending encounter chosen above experience that is gone in a moment.

I want to know God, but knowing can not be enough. I want to see God, but how long can I look if I dare not blink? I want to feel God's heart, even though its depth would end me. And how much of His voice can I take before its thundering will drown me? God, pull me up from my humanity and draw me into you. Teach me how to walk with you, constantly and completely. That you would be my point, and that even at distraction all of my existence would formulate thoughts which haunt of you. Let all my turning, my rising and my falling, my needs, my gains and my growing - let even my passing from this life be in the steps of you. Let me stand still, for surely let me speak, let my thoughts possess no secrets and my words encompass all. Let me be more than your friend - make me to be your constant companion, and your traveller on every step. God make me yours, for I cannot gain enough.

~JLB